If we want to be happy we need to learn to rise above disappointments. Disappointments come in countless shapes and sizes: people who let us down, bad weather that ruins our day out, work projects that we spend a lot of time on that aren’t successful. Whatever the disappointments are, they can cause stress, anger, frustration and more.
1. Avoid The Drama.
Whether the disappointment is due to an act of carelessness or a major heartwrencher, the first thing to do is to step away from any related drama. Situations of conflict have the potential to expand or shrink depending on the amount of attention we give them. In order to move forward, you’ve got to let the situation diffuse.
2. Recognize That It’s Not About You.
Human nature has us react first from a place of ego that would have us believe that everything is personal and encourages taking on the role of a victim. Be on the lookout for this defeating self-talk and resist the trap of self-blame, self-doubt, any of those unpleasant responses founded in the ego.
3. Give Yourself Time And Permission To Heal.
When you’ve been hurt, there are no expectations for a high-speed recovery except for those that you put on yourself. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid and that it’s okay to have some days that aren’t all rainbows and unicorns. Surround yourself with activities and people you love, nurture your body and soul, and do something, anything, to help others.
4. Reflect On Your Expectations Of Others.
You shouldn’t expect the worst of everyone because someone close to you has, in your mind, failed you. While we should expect to be treated fairly, truthfully and respectfully, we can also use these life lessons of being let down to examine how we react when others confirm that they too are human and capable of making mistakes.
5. Put The Experience To Good Use.
Once some time has passed and you’ve managed to process the letdown, put the experience to good use.. Use it to motivate you instead of allowing it to harden your heart or lead you to expect the worst. Let it teach you what you don’t want to do to someone else.
6. Have More Than One Goal In Life
If all we ever want to be is one thing in life, and we think nothing else will make us happy, if it never happens we can be very disappointed and devastated. We might never recover. Our self-fulfilling prophecy of not being happy unless we get to be that one thing can come true.
7. Have A Support Team
The people we mix with affect our attitudes, beliefs, behavior, health and so on. Mix with people who boost your spirits when you’re down, help you achieve worthwhile goals, and congratulate you when you succeed. To help deal with disappointments, harness the resources of a good support team, group or wise person you know.
8. Appreciate What You Already Have
Whatever positive things are in your life, appreciate them to help feel happy whether or not you get the praise you deserve for a job well done. Create a gratitude list to help cope with disappointment. Focus on the good things in life that we already have instead of what we don’t have but want, to reduce the intensity of disappointments, and get over them quicker.
9. Don’t Postpone Happiness
“I’ll be happy when I get my promotion, get a better job, my kids respect me…” If (or when) these things come about, other disappointments might also happen. If we put off our happiness until something happens, we are putting conditions on our happiness. And more disappointments might happen by then too!
10. Accept That Life Has Disappointments
To be happy and at peace we must, in time, accept that disappointments can and do happen; they are part of life. And they happen to all of us, no matter how much effort we put in or how innocent we are.