10 Things You Should Never Do After A Nasty Breakup
So you just had your heart crushed by a guy that you thought could have been the one. Breakups suck, and sometimes when weβre upset, we do things that are not so smart, that we will one day look back at and wonder, βWhat in Godβs name was I thinking?!?βEven the most amicable of parting ways can sting. When mourning the end of a relationship, be sure to avoid the following βdonβtsβ of breakup etiquette.
1. Stalk Them On Social Media.
Nothing good can come out of stalking your exβs social media. Nothing you see will make you feel better and youβll probably just over-analyze everything he posts and drive yourself crazy. So if you really want to get over him, delete him. Donβt look at his page. Ever.
2. Rush Into Another Relationship.
Thereβs nothing better than other guys showing interest in you after a breakup. However, the odds are youβre emotionally unavailable. You get a rush from the prospect of a new relationship and give it a try, well, donβt. Rushing into a relationship is really just using your new boyfriend to fill a void that he canβt fill.
3. Donβt Get Too Dramatic.
If you’re disappointed, it hurts, but your life is not over. The end of a relationship is a serious opportunity for excitement and newness. Look to your future and see what you can do to make it betterΒ and focus on finding activities and people to enrich your days, or even begin a new venture or interest.
4. Pretend Youβre Fine.
Let yourself mourn. Cry. Punch a pillow. Surround yourself with friends who listen. The temptation may be to pretend youβre unaffected by the breakup; donβt let pride get in the way of being real. You donβt have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. Itβs okay toΒ be angry, hurt or humiliated. Itβs healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb.
5. Drink Your Feelings.
Chances are you friends will want to take you out for cocktails to vent, chat, and celebrate your singledom. One happy hour is fine, but not a week of tequila-induced sloppy nights. Youβll just feel worse once you sober up. Plus, a broken heart and a hangover donβt mix well.
6. Avoid Taking Vengeance.
When youβre dumped, retribution is the most inessential thing to do no matter the ill-treatment and stressful situation you must have been subjected to in the relationship. Never seek getting even. You really donβt need the drama and chaos after a heartbreak. Vengeance will only make you look like a psycho who cannot let go.
7. Avoid Listening To Sad Music.
During post breakup, avoid listening to sad music about breakup. Cuddling yourself up in your bed and listening to sad music likeβ Heartbreakβ, βLove Lostβ, βWe were in loveβ and other breakup-related songs is depressing and will only make the situation worse. Rather, stick to cheerful and optimistic music that will raise your hope and help you overcome whatever you think youβve lost.
8. Don’tΒ Talk Bad About Your Ex.
When your partner chooses to go on without you, as a reasonable person, avoid giving the details to the world. This only portrays you as a bad person without you knowing it. You are indirectly belittling your standards as well as sending a wrong message about yourself when you keep talking bad about your ex. It also makes you look like a loser, because losers criticize people when they canβt have them to themselves.
9. Never Let Your Ex Sleep With You.
Sex is never going to bring them back so letting them sleep with you wonβt do likewise. All youΒ need is to extract your ex from your life, give yourself time to heal, and create the space to move on. Having sex with your ex draws you back whenever you want to move on. And if you presume using sex as a kind of manipulation to make him stay will make it work, after satisfying their animal urge, they will still thrash you.
10. Donβt BeΒ Friends.
Hardly can two people make a smooth change from being lovers to friends. If nonetheless youβre going to give it try, donβt try until the wounds have healed. Remaining friends straight after the breakup of your relationship goes hand in hand with having sex after breakup and this doesnβt leave you enough time or space to properly get over it. Cut all ties immediately at least until your wounds have healed.