Danger signs women should look out for in relationships

So this past Sunday, fate landed me at a clinic in Gaborone due to an unexpected food poisoning tale. Surely being sick, it’s only normal to become a little irritated by the queues before one can meet the doctor. However on this day I was rather bewildered by a number of distressed ladies who had been dropped by a casual police officer under reports of physical violence perpetrated by their supposed “boyfriends”. All of a sudden I did not mind waiting behind the queue, not because they were ‘special’ cases, but because my concern was on how we women let it get that far. It breaks my heart and for that reason I regard this piece as special. I am no relationship expert but relationships are our everyday feature and that’s all I needed to be enthused to compile this piece.

Generally, finding out all of the signs of an unhealthy relationship can be hard to face. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that is stable and wonderful and then move to a relationship that is unhealthy, it might be easier, but if unhealthy relationships are all you’ve ever known, you might not realize just how great a stable relationship can be. Abuse exists and it is high times we try to slow these down. After all, we all want healthy and well-adjusted relationships, and we definitely deserve better, right?

So, let’s explore:

Lack of trust

If we cannot trust our partners, feeling like they are being dishonest or hiding something from us, not trusting them to be reliable and consistent, and available when we need them, fearing they may take advantage of us, not trusting their values as human beings, or not feeling safe to express who we really are in our relationships, then there is something wrong. Lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading us behave in ways that alienate and anger others. When we inadvertently push away other people, we are not able to receive the genuine love they may have to give us.

Constant insults

Does your relationship consist of constant sniping? Do you feel like you always have to be on the defence? Well then, that is one of the top signs of an unhealthy relationship. Your boyfriend should make you feel amazing; he shouldn’t constantly be putting you down. That could actually be a sign that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Being beaten

Another sign of an unhealthy relationship that a lot of people overlook is constant fighting. Now, every relationship has its bumps, especially if you two are living together, but if you’re always fighting with him over the smallest things and you are frequently being picked at by him, that might not be a good relationship to be in. Remember, the good times should outweigh the bad times, not the other way around

Isolation

When you isolate yourself completely from your family and also from your friends that can be another sign of that your relationship isn’t healthy. You need your family and your friends to survive. You need other opinions in your life besides your partner’s. So if you find that he expects you to just spend time with him all of the time; that is a sign to be careful.

Always being blamed

Another sign involves constantly blaming your partner, or looking for ways to blame him or her for everything. Girls, your partner is not always the person to blame for everything, he is not the person you should be blaming everything on and vice versa.

Attempts to control

We all appreciate being able to go to our partner to get advice but, if your partner always tries to advise or influence you to do certain things, it can be an attempt to control you. Does he tell you to who to be friends with, what things to wear or what to do with your spare time?

Extreme Jealousy

A little jealousy doesn’t hurt, but when your partner is envious of your job or doesn’t like the fact that you have lots of friends, it’s unhealthy. Your partner should be able to be happy for you and your accomplishments and not feel like he is in competition with you.

Loving the idea of being in love

Are you in love with being in love but not in love? There are some people who love the idea of being in a relationship so they stay in relationships even if they’re unhappy. That’s no way to live! If you’re only in it because of your desire to be in a relationship or you don’t want to be alone, you won’t ever be happy.

In essence its up to one person to decide whether they wish to stay or leave their relationship. However at this rate, the question should be do YOU want to leave your relationship in one piece or in pieces. Remember we only live once!! YOLO