How to cope staying with your parents

In the era of unemployment and no land up for allocation it can be very difficult to survive the pain that comes with staying with your parents when you are an adult. They will never stop treating you like a youngster, the treatment will even be a lot more painful when you are unemployed and staying with family. In today’s edition we give you ways you can cope with staying with family.

• Understand that as much as your parents love you, it’s still their home. Even though you might contribute financially, it isn’t the same situation as any other payment for shelter arrangement; your parents are used to things being as they like them, and it all rests on them having funded it in the first place. Treat it like a “first come, first served” policy. Most of all, be willing to share and be ready to compromise quickly on things that you know mean a lot to them and maintain their level of comfort and space.
• Always respect the wishes of your parents. They’re not your children, they’re not in a position of deference to your preferences. If they want to watch a certain program on TV that you don’t, show your respect and walk away. Be proactive and set things up to have your own space to avoid bumping into theirs, such as purchasing your own TV, watching things online or visiting a friend’s place for those “must watch” things that don’t interest your parents.
• Just because you are an adult now, doesn’t mean the golden rule “obey and respect your parents” (or something along those lines) vanished in thin air. Oh no, buddy. That’s a lifelong rule. Live with it, and try to be happy while you’re at it. It helps ease unnecessary controversy.
• Listen to your parents. Expect to defer to and respond positively to their preferences when it involves the running of the household, the decisions about home management and the way routines are followed. While it is all too listen to reply and react, it is important to listen to your parents when they talk and really hear what their perspective is. You don’t necessarily have to add something to what they are saying every time you talk. This will avoid most of those conversations turning into arguments.
• Be self responsible. Take care of your own belongings. Do not expect your parents to be willing to fall into care mode and do your washing, cleaning, etc. as when you were a child. You are completely independent now and need to show this aspect at all times. If you do allow some help with your things, make sure it is part of an arrangement whereby you are helping them with something of equal value or effort.